A Fragile Masculinity

The title is taken from a tweet by a person I follow on twitter named T and personally I couldn't agree more with her. Its a little something that I have been thinking about lately, at 28 years old its tough to think boldly and confidently because people like me are stuck in their own worlds crippled by their own problems ranging from personal to a breakup and etc. Thus indicating that a person is on his own now with no one to back you or be there for you, here I put the blame on myself because I kept myself away from others throughout my school, college, university life and the trend continues at work too. I openly admit that it was my nature and that i felt like I was short of breath in such a situation but being at a distance gave me breathing space.

Breaking B**ch!!

We human beings are made to be social animals, hence we communicate with each other in a variety of ways and these means of communication have evolved with time. Now the thing is that we say things about a subject, that statement can be anything from being neutral to a personal one etc. so do we need to back our thoughts to properly justify our opinions about anything we highlight? I do not know about others but as far as I go, yes I do. I believe in being responsible for everything I say because it is my duty, even if I do not do it in this lifetime then there will be no escape from Allah on Judgement Day for sure.

Darr lagta hai.

Kya zamana tha woh bhi
Jab mai bhi zindagi ko khoob enjoy krta tha
Na gaye huay or na anay walay kal ki fakr
lakin ab sab kuch tabdeel ho chuka hai
Na us tarhan se hasna or na woh mulaqatain hoti hain

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai

Is umar mai aa kar agay peechay dekhta hun
Zyada tar shadi ki mehfilain or get togethers nazar atay hain
Mene bohat kam shadian attend kee hain
Lakin ab toh jese k attend krna chor dia
Na logo say mulaqaat hoti hai na kaheen ana jana

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai

Zindagi may agay barhtay rehne k liay logo say lagao zaruri hota hai
Maine bhi khoob is behti ganga may haath dhoay hain
School, college, university...yeh sare daor dekh liay
Aur log phir bhi apas may taaluqaat barqarar rakhtay hain
lakin mainay ab tamaam logo ko zindagi say nikala hua hai
Aur jo nay chehray aatay hain unko bhi bhaga deta hun

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai

Office mai log mujh say puchtay hain mere baray main
Meri zindagi kaisi guzarti hain kaam k illawa
koi dosti yaari, koi shughal waghera
kahin ana jana, koi committment waghera

Lakin mera in tamam sawaalon ka jawab na hota hai
Yun samajh lain k mai jhoot to nahi bolta
Lakin aisi cheezain ab tang karti hain
Aur main in ko duur bhagana munasib samajhta hun

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai

Family gatherings kabhi kabhi hoti hain
lakin jab hoti hain toh lutf toh aata hai
Unko jo apas may zyada qareeb aur baatuni hote hain
Main munasib ye samajhta hun k alag kamre mai chala jaun
Aur headphones laga k apni dunya mai kho jaun

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai

Beta hone ki haisiyat say mujhe ghar ka bara banda chahiye
Lakin surat e haal is k baraqs hai

Maine khud ko peechay krdia hai

Agar agay anay k liay bolna lazmi hai

To phir meri taraf say mazrat

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai
 

Aur sabse aakhir main arz krta chalun

Log mujse puchtay hain k shaadi kab kr rahe ho? 

Bhai seedhi c baat hai Zara suniyay

Qayamat ayegi, ye hum jante hain lakin kab? 

Ye nahi Pata, aur yeh haal mera bhi hai

Mujhe khud bhi nahi Pata meri shadi kab hogi

Aur larki bhi koi pasand nahi aaye

Na kabhi is cheez k bare mai socha kabhi

Aur ab dil chaspee nahi rahi

Q? Bhai is liay q k

Bas ab darr sa lagta hai, aur sharam c aati hai

I deserve a life...or do I...?

It has been a long time since I was here and frankly speaking I had no reason to be i.e. till recently. Nearly less than a decade ago, I vowed that I would try and be a different person in all aspects. I had no plans, no procedures in mind, all I wanted was to be different and that does not mean being popular (to be honest I have always avoided being popular).

The F.A.Qs

No matter what we look, act, think like there are people around us who want to know something about us, they ask us questions. Some can be easy to respond to while others can be very tricky and question ones general attitude. Keep in mind that most of us have multiple personalities that we disclose at different situations and places. Hence there may be variations in what we are asked, no matter what its all up to us to answer them

This is just what I need to get a few things off my chest, some questions that I have been asked and I haven't answered them properly, this is probably the best place where I can answer them irrespective of who ever sees these;