The title is taken from a tweet by a person I follow on twitter named T and personally I couldn't agree more with her. Its a little something that I have been thinking about lately, at 28 years old its tough to think boldly and confidently because people like me are stuck in their own worlds crippled by their own problems ranging from personal to a breakup and etc. Thus indicating that a person is on his own now with no one to back you or be there for you, here I put the blame on myself because I kept myself away from others throughout my school, college, university life and the trend continues at work too. I openly admit that it was my nature and that i felt like I was short of breath in such a situation but being at a distance gave me breathing space.
The month of October 2014 changed me so much and it was just that tiny moment I saw with my own eyes, a group of boys and girls (my university mates) eating dinner on a table at a friends' valima laughing and enjoying like it was the most precious moment of their lives, I looked on and thats when I realized...I've turned into a monster. I am my own enemy, I have literally destroyed and thrown away what I could have been so easily a part of and what I as a human needed the most. I threw all that away and its been a year and a half and believe me when I say this...I have never been more sad, depressed, emotional ( I don't know how many times I have cried up till now) and letting go will make it more tough because it has changed my shape so much that I don't recognize myself in the mirror, they say that letting go is the only best option one can think of but little do they know that it's the past that makes the future.
Sucks doesn't it? When you realize how the system of this world and how you planned on doing things and that everything backfired. Hence I made up my mind that I will not meetup with anyone and better to move on, being on social media especially twitter is what I feel comfortable with but the thing Ive seen is that Guys are more interested in Girls here which is...expected, of course I could be wrong but that's apparently what we have here...Facebook makes you jealous it really does especially me, its about analyzing yourself, what have they done to make it better for themselves and their family and where do I stand? Twitter gives you a platform to express yourself in whatever way you like without people commenting on your statuses to which I certainly have no answer tbh.
In order to be able to interact one needs to know what and when to say to the other person, over the past year or so Ive noticed that I have no control over the things I say even though I was never rude by nature and still am not, when you lose people in real life you look for them on the internet and don't care if they are real or fake profiles (Im too old for for this childish stuff) so yes Im taking this thing way too seriously.
I ll back myself on the fact that Ive become overly respectful with the passage of time because I just cannot be rude unless pushed beyond the very last limit, this gives the female species to exercise their dominance and I dont mind for a reason
-Being blunt and rude is good for them since this keeps pervert guys and shareef ones at bay
Yup they sometimes scare me because I have had scenes where Ive unintentionally messed things up so bad that some third person would invade my profile and verbally beat the holy hell outta me, all these small things should NOT matter but for someone like me they do unfortunately, so to all you out there I just wanna say congratulations for owning me if ever you did, I needed to learn a lesson and that It will do your self confidence a lotta good.
On the other hand there are those who keep telling me to lighten up, chill, let it go etc. the ones whom I appreciate from the core of my heart and at the same time Im too scared to even lose them (Apologies). Just that some incidents leave you so much damaged and wounded that you are left on your own to heal and we heal with time. I know I will be totally normal again but when?
Okay so this blog was probably all over the place but a humble request to all readers, do not ever judge a person by what you see the first time and do not say things that hurt a person, if you can't help then ignore and if you acn then do take the step as good fellow muslim brothers and sisters
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And of course this little conversation (those you know very well)
All of this is now in the past and Ive moved on, but still had these screenshots saved, gonna have to delete these,
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