No I don't want to go.

A few days back an old friend of my dad was having this wedding ceremony of his daughter at a certain place. Dad and mom asked me if i wanted to go. I calmly declined their invitation to go, and deep down inside i was burning up and hoping that they will not force me to go. Thankfully that did not happen and instead they took my younger sister along with them to fill up the "with family" slot.

As I type, I am trying to recall what was the last wedding that I attended, and most importantly, when? I have given good thought to this and sorry I cannot remember what was it. Simply because I hardly enjoyed going to the weddings, I mean,  I used to but not anymore. Because I often ask myself that why do these parents often resort to comparing their children with others, and things get worse for the child if he is under rated.

I remember now that although there are few weddings I have attended but In almost every one I was questioned about my academic progress. I must say here that my school life has been a roller coaster ride as far as my performance is concerned, I scored 1st position in my 1st grade and 2nd position in 2nd grade, after that the roller-coaster ride started, and It has not stopped yet (never will). But that seems worthless when the kid in-front of me was portrayed as the king of the world (seemingly) because he was either the top 3 position holder or he was always 1st in his class (undefeated streak).

Anyways, that was not the only thing that got me bogged down, even my physique was not spared, although I must say here that I was not the smartest of them all, you know that as a kid It hurts when you see others growing up so fast (some of them even seem to have exploded) and myself left to be a "skinny little shrimp" as rightly quoted in the novel "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". Once we used to go back home I used to get a little verbal treatment involving me being compared and hence I was left to ponder over what I was doing with my life. Although no big deal for some kids but for me the main factor was the I got a lot of love and affection from my mother and due to over-affection I seem to have suffered as a result.

So what should I do now? Get over this phobia and start facing the world? Yes that seems to be a bold move but hang on! there is a little problem................ I am Not employed!!! and who knows, maybe If I encounter some successful person he is probably going to announce himself as sitting at an X position in an X Multinational company (I am not jealous people!!!!!) I must congratulate him on his achievement but the problem is that my past will continue to haunt me, as will my family (dad) SIGH!....................